Saintkev
01-08-2007, 12:10 PM
Kev Brockman reports live from The Cage with the sensational news rocking Perthshire and beyond…
PSJ has had to move quickly to stop itself imploding after the unthinkable happened; Woody got a bird and a sensible(ish) job!! After years of getting 42 digit-long phone-numbers and acting like a monkey at a call-centre and drinking lager, Woody has finally changed his life-style big-time…
This is obviously great news for PSJ stalwart, Michael ‘Woody’ Woodburn, however the stress of looking after someone other than himself and having to do some real(ish) work, has had an impact on Woody’s contribution to PSJ, with the player missing some games and then being under stress when in attendance due to the added responsibility of the Vice Captaincy. It was agreed by the PSJ committee to speak to Woody to iron out these difficulties and it was agreed that Woody would step down as Vice Captain so that he could concentrate on his playing career and get back to enjoying himself again.
The committee were quick to thank Woody for all his hard work during his long years as Vice captain, adding that they hoped that he gets back to being the Woody we all love and adore soon!... They released this statement… “Thanks to Woody for all his hard work during his long years as Vice captain W hope that he gets back to being the Woody we all love and adore soon!”
Woody himself had this to say; “It has been a stressful period of my life and I wasn’t enjoying myself, but rest assured I am still committed to this club and can’t wait for the season to get underway again… ah aye, shut it ya dick!”
Quite!
PSJ though have also moved quickly to appoint a successor to ensure that the club continues to run smoothly. Club treasurer, G, explained the selection process… “Firstly we came up with a list of names of players who we all respected, that was no good, so we tried to think of people who where committed to the club, young enough to keep going for a good few years and not likely to be going elsewhere, but no matter how ugly they are, folk still seem to get a partners which affect their input, so it then came down to who was least likely to get a partner and the candidate we decided on fitted the bill perfectly.”
Gaffer, Al, takes up the story… “Due to the fact he is always either flying a plane or driving up and down the road, Pink seemed least likely to pull… plus what better way to thank him for his continued commitment to the team?”
Captain Kevman, phoned Pink to see if he wished to assist Kev for the foreseeable future… “He seemed delighted, saying he’d be honoured to moan at folk to put the nets up and get someone to clean up the changing rooms. I’m delighted to have him on board and hopefully in this lofty position, he’ll be an asset to the team.”
Pink was unavailable to comment due to his Village People choreography training, but has stated he will pass on a statement in the near future, watch this space!
PSJ has had to move quickly to stop itself imploding after the unthinkable happened; Woody got a bird and a sensible(ish) job!! After years of getting 42 digit-long phone-numbers and acting like a monkey at a call-centre and drinking lager, Woody has finally changed his life-style big-time…
This is obviously great news for PSJ stalwart, Michael ‘Woody’ Woodburn, however the stress of looking after someone other than himself and having to do some real(ish) work, has had an impact on Woody’s contribution to PSJ, with the player missing some games and then being under stress when in attendance due to the added responsibility of the Vice Captaincy. It was agreed by the PSJ committee to speak to Woody to iron out these difficulties and it was agreed that Woody would step down as Vice Captain so that he could concentrate on his playing career and get back to enjoying himself again.
The committee were quick to thank Woody for all his hard work during his long years as Vice captain, adding that they hoped that he gets back to being the Woody we all love and adore soon!... They released this statement… “Thanks to Woody for all his hard work during his long years as Vice captain W hope that he gets back to being the Woody we all love and adore soon!”
Woody himself had this to say; “It has been a stressful period of my life and I wasn’t enjoying myself, but rest assured I am still committed to this club and can’t wait for the season to get underway again… ah aye, shut it ya dick!”
Quite!
PSJ though have also moved quickly to appoint a successor to ensure that the club continues to run smoothly. Club treasurer, G, explained the selection process… “Firstly we came up with a list of names of players who we all respected, that was no good, so we tried to think of people who where committed to the club, young enough to keep going for a good few years and not likely to be going elsewhere, but no matter how ugly they are, folk still seem to get a partners which affect their input, so it then came down to who was least likely to get a partner and the candidate we decided on fitted the bill perfectly.”
Gaffer, Al, takes up the story… “Due to the fact he is always either flying a plane or driving up and down the road, Pink seemed least likely to pull… plus what better way to thank him for his continued commitment to the team?”
Captain Kevman, phoned Pink to see if he wished to assist Kev for the foreseeable future… “He seemed delighted, saying he’d be honoured to moan at folk to put the nets up and get someone to clean up the changing rooms. I’m delighted to have him on board and hopefully in this lofty position, he’ll be an asset to the team.”
Pink was unavailable to comment due to his Village People choreography training, but has stated he will pass on a statement in the near future, watch this space!