john.w Posted March 5, 2014 Report Share Posted March 5, 2014 It wid gar ye boak Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AthensSaint Posted March 7, 2014 Report Share Posted March 7, 2014 "Ham Fisted" Carron 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carron Posted March 19, 2014 Report Share Posted March 19, 2014 My mother is slightly deaf and doesn't always hear what is said to her the first time.* Â Told her earlier about the new pound coin coming. Her reply was, "What are they wanting a three pound coin for?" Â I had to show her the article in the paper. Â *Okay. Maybe the second time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carron Posted June 5, 2014 Report Share Posted June 5, 2014 "Another word from you and you will be going straight home to your bed". Mother to young child acting up on the bus. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Great Paddy Buckley Posted June 5, 2014 Report Share Posted June 5, 2014 See you! I widnae see you in ma mince! Â (one of my old mans- usually in jest) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slf Posted June 5, 2014 Report Share Posted June 5, 2014 stjohnstone have won the scottish cup ya bass.get it right up ye dundee minks one team in tayside Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uphallsaint Posted June 6, 2014 Report Share Posted June 6, 2014 I'm watching the 70th anniversary d-day programme on the BBC. Reminds me when it was coming up to my mum and dad's silver wedding anniversary. My mum wanted to go on a Mediterranean cruise, my dad was not keen and came out with the following: "Cruise, the last time I was on a cruise was D-Day and it was shite!" They went to Bournemouth. AthensSaint, 55saint, Carron and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HOODLUM65 Posted June 6, 2014 Report Share Posted June 6, 2014 He wiz as black as the Earl of Hell's waistcoat. (often said when someone had just finished a particularly dirty /mucky job.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carron Posted June 14, 2014 Report Share Posted June 14, 2014 Grew up in the 1970s. Was going on a family outing by train. An elderly neighbour told me "troops need trains". She had been told this during the Second World War and since then wouldn't use a train. Â When we were on the train, I asked my parents where all the troops were...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AthensSaint Posted June 17, 2014 Report Share Posted June 17, 2014 After my first trip to sea which was in the far east and mega sun tan and returning mid February after five months......ticket inspector at Waverley said to me...Who'se yer faither, Jock the Coalman ???? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ANDY5565 Posted June 21, 2014 Report Share Posted June 21, 2014 i dont talk like you,i dont think like you;i dont behave like you and thank fuqe for that! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
THE REBEL SAINT Posted June 21, 2014 Report Share Posted June 21, 2014 You are yourself Andy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HOODLUM65 Posted June 24, 2014 Report Share Posted June 24, 2014 Reckon said by more older people than the youth of today, " Don't take this the wrong way but "...... That's fatal , as soon as those words are uttered, the defence mechanism kicks in and things are taken the wrong way. Better to say " not worried if you take this one way or the way it was meant , causing no offence " then still take 3 paces back. You"ll never win as far as women are concerned . Ha ha . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Great Paddy Buckley Posted June 25, 2014 Report Share Posted June 25, 2014 Former footballer Ian Dowie is a Rocket Scientist! Â Â Overheard on a bus earlier. Young mother to toddler son, who was reluctant to ring the bell, to get the bus to stop. "Well come on! It isn't rocket science!". Â Â Just how hard is rocket science? Carron 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Great Paddy Buckley Posted June 25, 2014 Report Share Posted June 25, 2014 Not heard that for years.. my old man said same to me in similar circumstances over 30 years ago After my first trip to sea which was in the far east and mega sun tan and returning mid February after five months......ticket inspector at Waverley said to me...Who'se yer faither, Jock the Coalman ???? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carron Posted July 29, 2014 Report Share Posted July 29, 2014 After an expensive d.i.y. error by my Uncle _______, His wife Auntie _______ said, "Much use as a chocolate ashtray".   (background to the story. They had moved house, and were in the process of changing things. It was decided to replace the internal doors. Uncle knew best and counted how many doors were needed, then measured the kitchen door. Went and ordered the required number of doors at this size. They were delivered, Uncle went and got someone he knew to come and fit them. Decided to remove and dispose of old doors. Bloke arrives to fit the new doors, it was then discovered that all the doorways were slightly different sizes. My uncle had a sore head from two parties as a result of this.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lethamsaintee Posted July 29, 2014 Report Share Posted July 29, 2014 It's no outside you're in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HOODLUM65 Posted August 20, 2014 Report Share Posted August 20, 2014 Watching the world pipe band championship on the tv reminded me of the saying "he's got a good erse for a kilt" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ancientsaint Posted August 20, 2014 Report Share Posted August 20, 2014 Watching the world pipe band championship on the tv reminded me of the saying "he's got a good erse for a kilt" Â Â Sure it wisnae - hung like a donkey ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rik2304 Posted September 19, 2014 Report Share Posted September 19, 2014 No SaintDougie 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HOODLUM65 Posted October 16, 2014 Report Share Posted October 16, 2014 Awa' an bile yer heid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ancientsaint Posted October 16, 2014 Report Share Posted October 16, 2014 better out than in Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Edstar101 Posted October 16, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 16, 2014 whats for ye wont go by ye Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carron Posted December 24, 2014 Report Share Posted December 24, 2014 Overheard in Primark earlier. Â Small child not behaving. Â Mother "If you don't behave, then I am emailing Santa and telling him not to come". (has phone in her hand) uphallsaint and craiginasaintsstrip 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uphallsaint Posted December 24, 2014 Report Share Posted December 24, 2014 No mobile phones when I was young, my mum threatened to write to Santa to tell him I was a very naughty boy. When I was about 7 the adverts for last posting dates started to appear on the telly. I phoned the operator and asked when the last posting date was to the North Pole. I must have got through to a smart operator as she told me there is no final posting date for Santa. Carron 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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