Diddy

So playing attractive football, scoring an overhead kick and two screamers from the edge of and from outside the box doesn't constitute playing well? You fermers really do have high expectations...

I find it fascinating how you reach this assumption. I can only guess that you weren't at Firhill for the first encounter of the season? Granted, Thistle were absolutely rubbish at McDiarmid Park, but then again, when was the last time we played well there?

I do my best old ghosty

Ya dack ya wonk ya fenny The Dees that whit they'd say But me? Like students many True home's down Firhill way Our football's sometimes magic Whilst others it's just pish A trip from Aberdeen is just Rewarded with a miss. Except back start yon season. Yer Left Back, he were shyte. And so I telt him, quite a lot. Well on into the night. Our defence? THEY put three past ye! Ye must have felt right Diddies A bike kick frae a guy who's kids Themselves could o' had kiddies! The next? A belter frae left peg Max He sent us in a frenzy A goal tae lyrical so us wax The John whit's to oor Menzies! The third a first for Paton Paul A volley 3rd time lucky His name it rhymes with Charles De Gaulle Continental skill and plucky. Then in came maestro Jeebs He ghosts to rival you And finished off "just" frae close range The fermers they went "mooooo!" The moral of this story sir The Division's not yet won Nae gold, nae Frankincense nor Myhr But McCall's the chosen one!

Ah see it's auld Jim, Ah heard he's fat and round. With ginger hair, he'll a'y' be found. On Bovril and Pie he takes the biscuit. Goadin' Dundonians, he sure does risk it. Someone thought he was Cosgrove; Stuart's top didnae fit him, Jim's quite invisible, but he's no very slim. Like the Saintie from Taggart, he likes sweaty men, He's like a wee kiddie frae Storeybook Glen.

Who are this great mcgonigall? Does he have a name? Like Harkins, trap and ghost with ball, Does he the very same?

When the train runs out of steam Dundee and Sainties, sheets are clean While Thistle at the Fakes are steamin' in Maryhill Magyars, sure tae win

Should we not merge both Dundee Clubs and take Dundee from the Dundee name and United from Dundee United's name? Dundee United. Sounds like a good name.

Here comes the Dundee Train