Rodgers Posted April 8, 2014 Report Share Posted April 8, 2014 Ready to make history? Come this Saturday, PSJ will be taking part in their first ever British cup quarter final. PSJ have been on good form lately with strong performances against Dunfermline, Raith Rovers and Troon. This has to be put down to being able to field almost the same team every week. After a difficult start to the season, PSJ have turned things around and manager Kevin Riddle had this to say, “we have turned it around big time, this has been down to long hours on the training ground and my change of tactics”. It has to be said PSJ have developed a style of play that Barcelona would be proud of. So from these recent performances does that mean PSJ are high in confidence? The evening tullygraph spoke to PSJ veteran striker Alistair Pops yesterday about PSJ chances in Saturday game, “I really do think we can win this game, mean, we are the underdogs according to the bookies but that has happened a few times this season and it doesn’t bother us as players, we just turn up and play. I remember back in the day when PSJ were the worst team in the league, and I scored the first ever PSJ goal…”. PSJ travel down south on Thursday evening where they will have a training session on the pitch on the Friday before finding a strip club to spend their coppers. This has been shown to be a successful method of match preparation, as in the past PSJ players have displayed their appreciation at the down time before an important match, however, Nicholas Church was unavailable to comment. Manager Kevin Riddle has no injury concerns ahead of Saturday, but what he will have is a selection headache. There are a number of positions that have a number of players available for selection, such as young Rhuari Klumber after putting in an impressive performance on Saturday up front. After his brace at the weekend, Rhuari was said to be over the moon from this performance, however he is too young to be interviewed, so there was no confirmation about his comments. PSJ new keeper Michael Dustbunny has been receiving a lot of praise of late, firstly for quitting smoking and drinking but also his heroic performances between the sticks. He demonstrates all the qualities to be the next Kevin Cuthbert, and he seems so determined to keep a clean sheet during the games, he had this to say, “clean sheets? Clean pants”. There is said to be a squad of seventeen players heading south and it could potentially be the strongest squad in PSJ history. Kevin had this to say regarding the large squad “its big, but I have a feeling I will lose some players to alcoholism and needsleepism but I need to prepare for all of them to be there”. One of the main factors that have caused the team to improve is the new young players coming through thanks to the youth academy of PSJ. Head of the academy Michael Rodriguez has developed players such as Johnathan Yates, Daniel Scoot, Matthew Gillygrust and the famous Harry Pothead. Without a doubt this is the way football clubs are trying to do now, develop younger players to save money on wages. PSJ who are currently sitting second in the league go into this match having no fear for Saturday, they have built confidence from their previous matches and also in the last round where they beat Barnsley. Winning this match is not mission impossible and the players will know this. They will have worked on Southport’s weaknesses and learned about their strengths; together as a team, PSJ can make history. Dustin Bucket Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barca-Saintee Posted April 8, 2014 Report Share Posted April 8, 2014 Quite pleased to still be in the promising young player category. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rodgers Posted April 8, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 8, 2014 Quite pleased to still be in the promising young player category. You are a working progress. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
perthsaint1884 Posted April 9, 2014 Report Share Posted April 9, 2014 PSJ new keeper Michael Dustbunny has been receiving a lot of praise of late, firstly for quitting smoking and drinking but also his heroic performances between the sticks. He demonstrates all the qualities to be the next Kevin Cuthbert, and he seems so determined to keep a clean sheet during the games, he had this to say, “clean sheets? Clean pants”. I nearly lost my "clean pants" record after reading this! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Al C Posted April 9, 2014 Report Share Posted April 9, 2014 Van der Beek would be proud Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Al C Posted April 9, 2014 Report Share Posted April 9, 2014 Veteran reporter Boran Olisadabe caught up with PSJ Captain Radgers Michaelson earlier today. He had no comment to make. "I have no comment to make" stated Radgers. We will bring you more when we have it. *been a while since been able to do that "joke"; give me peace Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rodgers Posted April 9, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 9, 2014 Veteran reporter Boran Olisadabe caught up with PSJ Captain Radgers Michaelson earlier today. He had no comment to make. "I have no comment to make" stated Radgers. We will bring you more when we have it. *been a while since been able to do that "joke"; give me peace Radgers having no comment to make? That would be a first. *its something you should be proud of. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Al C Posted April 9, 2014 Report Share Posted April 9, 2014 Olisadabe also met with PSJ right/left/anywhere you want utensil man Douglas Frew Spew Blah. Frew Spew Blah had the following to say: "Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh" More as this story develops. *please refer to early editions of the PSJ fanzine for regular use of this "joke" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jinky Posted April 9, 2014 Report Share Posted April 9, 2014 At a time when legends are few and far between, PSJ stand on the brink of immortality. For a small provincial club of such humble beginnings to have reached the Quarter Finals of the Internet's biggest football competition, is nothing short of remarkable. So come this Saturday, when they face Southport, a new chapter in this clubs fine history, will already be underway. This journalist was once, before embarking on a journey Hunter S. Thompson would be proud of, an integral part of the PSJ family. So it is heartening to see that the old guard keeping the original ethos and values alive. Through shite and muck! Players will come and go, but PSJ are more than just a football team, anyone who has ever been fortunate enough to wear the shirt can attest to this. Memories never fade. I caught up with Andrew 'Jinky' Johnston, who in his time with PSJ, played around 150 games, over 100 of those consecutively, with an average of a goal every three(ish) games. "It's an enormous achievement to have made it this far, but I really think this is just the start of things. The gaffer has done brilliant, he's managed to get a talented sqaud together, despite the budget constraints. It's the kinda game you dream of playing in, I'll be rooting them on". When asked of his own future, Johnston had this to say "It's long been my desire to return to where it all began at some point, thankfully Stewart White shows that there is plenty of time left for that". So come Saturday, whatever happens, new Legends will have been born, tales of these heroic men will be told for generations to come. The story of PSJ, is only just beginning. Good luck lads Andrew Van Der Beek nips 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
perthsaint1884 Posted April 9, 2014 Report Share Posted April 9, 2014 I've missed Andrew van der Beek. A return for him and Jinky is long over due Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jamie_Beatson Posted April 9, 2014 Report Share Posted April 9, 2014 I thought Andrew Van Der Beek/Jinky had fallen off the edge of the earth - or at the very least fallen into a permanent stupor having immersed himself in the Dundee culture. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Al C Posted April 10, 2014 Report Share Posted April 10, 2014 Some good stuff from James Johnston there. I miss him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jinky Posted April 11, 2014 Report Share Posted April 11, 2014 Preparations for the biggest game in the clubs history have been dealt a massive blow, just hours ahead of kick off. With manager, Nipplehead, invoking club policy that no player can venture more than 17 miles from the hotel on the eve of a match. A disastrous turn of events befalls our eager warriors. The nearest strip club is a mere one mile outside the 'safety zone'. Several players are said to be devastated, unsure how to deal with the pent up excitement that they are tortured by, ahead of tomorrow mornings epic clash. One who wished to remain anonymous, cried "Hocus pocus I must focus, extendiousus, safety zoneious" Then burst into tears, only to be consoled by a packet of out of date Jaffa cakes. PSJ legend, Michael 'Woody' Woodburn initially offered to solve the problem in the same way he had done for a young Jinky, some 12 years ago. He offered to deposit some softcore pornography magazines in all players rooms, discretely placed under the covers for the cleaners to find. However after consultation with the players, it was decided that smart phones offer a far more practical solution, given the distance and cost of diesel for the burnmobile. We can only hope these unfortunate circumstances do not impact on the teams preparations too much. Remember lads, if they want you out the bar, get the hotel porno on. Sunnyside baby! Unfortunately this reporter has been unable to travel with the squad, so all further reports will be handled by the very able, Dustin Bucket. Andrew Van Der Beek perthsaint1884 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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