uphallsaint

That sounds like Paul Hartley.

Mine was behind the door when I got back from my coffee morning. Thanks.

Athletico fans are not very happy, they have to share a space.

Mr Black, I'm sure you have enough contacts to make your money back on the Scotland v Nigeria game.

Nigerian police are taking the match fixing seriously. They have asked all the Scottish players for their bank and contact details as well as their mother's maiden name.

That'll be ram riding rather than ram raiding then Aunty?

She's far too young for me. Yewtree never reached Uphall, in fact electricity has never reached Uphall.

I just thought I might take up tennis. At my age it would probably be a better alternative to American fitba.

Dear Auntie Ancient, are you sure you are a bona fide agony aunt. Maybe you could put scans of your qualifications on here. Why do I doubt you. Well I've spent the last few minutes scouring the webthingy and cannot find a Wimbledon tap for £19.88. The latest ones seem to be about £40 and older ones £10.

When my wife said "You love St Johnstone more than you love me." I maybe shouldn't have replied "I love Scumdee more than I love you!"

Spot on Athens.

DVD please. PM you.

Hope it happens

Keep up the good work Plum.

Don't forget cod liver oil. How any cod died to get the tablespoonful.

Ramos equalises for Real with seconds to go. Looks like ET

Tapeworm, but they went out of fashion when cassette's came in.

Any predictions? I fancy Athletico to sneak it but can see a few goals coming.

Any predictions? I fancy Athletico to sneak it but can see a few goals coming.

Mobile phones! We thought we were lucky having rickets.

Aye, we had it hard back then Hoodlum. Doug Newlands is a name from the past, he was my cousin's boss and I went I to their office to meet him and got his autograph.

That was the 60's Balhousie.

When I was 10 or 11 Saints were playing Hearts at Tynecastle. A neighbour, a die hard Jambo whose Dad had played for Hearts, offered to take me to the game as her son was away at scout camp. She had season tickets for the enclosure area in the main stand. As we lived at the prison it was just a short walk to the ground and we set off. Me in my Saints scarf, replica strips hadn't been invented, and she decked out in maroon and white. During the game I was shouting for the Saints when a yob started giving me stick. When Mrs Hills got on a thine he started on her so she belted him about the head with her handbag. He left the ground to abuse from those around us. I still don't like the Jambos though.

Not just paying Athens but often going to matches withe younger kids despite having no interest in Saints or football.

You read correctly. It's now on Facebook Saints page.