A massive discussion about Keith Chegwin...


Saintkev
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I also once heard him describe his own house as "just a building with a bunch of rooms and all of my stuff in it".

That's nothing... he once was quoted as describing planet earth as "some land and some water and some other stuff too."

He is worldy wise, so we must take this for granted.

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The Undertones "My Perfect Cousin" was Fergal Sharkey's personal tribute to Keith Chegwin (who flicked to kick and he didn't know).

This song starts with the line, "I've got a cousin called Kevin, he's bound to go to heaven." I though my cousin Fergal was singing about me all these years... gutted now... thankfully it is about one of only two folk who deserve it more... Cheggers (the other being Jerome Flynn... obviously)

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Its a little known fact that it was Keith Chegwin who found Saddam Hussain in his hidey-hole and not the Americans! Keith was in Iraq filming a pilot show for his series "Cheggers plays Hide and Seek" for Al-Jazeera network and Keith was about to hide in exactly the same spot! The Americans turned up a little later and claimed all the glory. Typical!

Keith said afterwards "izzy wizzy, let's get busy". Its typical of Keith not to show emotion and instead quote classic tv puppets. What a man!

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  • 2 weeks later...
Guest Nairn Saint
Keith Chegwin predicts Scotland will win 3-0 against Italy, but only if Darren Dods makes the step up to the full squad... here's hoping!

It was Keith Chegwin, after all, who spotted Darren Dods potential when he was an awkward gangly 21 year old left winger playing for Edina Hearts under 14s and converted him into the awkward gangly stopper we all know and loved (you would never believe they are actually brothers).

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That is a complete and utter fallacy. Chegwin was in fact the driving force behind making Times New Roman the default font on microsoft word, as he felt that microsofts inital preferance for Wingdings would not prove a hit with the buying public.

Monkfish, you are indeed correct, but next time you see him, ask him... Times New Roman is his favourite 'formal' font, Comic Sans his over-all font... he is starting to see the error of his ways for your point though... ariel is far easier for someone with sight difficulties to read.

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Keith Chegwin devised the meatball marinara and sold the idea to Subway. It is not his favourite though, he enjoys an Italian BMT on honey oat bread with cheese, not toasted. On the salad front he opts for lettuce, peppers, tomato, onion and olives. He always declines salt and pepper but alternates between southwest sauce and honey mustard. This depends on his mood.

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I was talking to Keith on Skype this morning and he tells me (and i quote) that "McLeish will go 3-4-3 against Italy and will stand in the technical area with his ball-sack hanging out his flies because he's flipped his effing lid". He also passes on his regards to sainteebrian and apologises again for overcooking the fish.

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As a mark of respect Keith is allowing Alex McLeish to pick the team tomorrow. Keith was going to take the lone striker role for himself but as there is a fully fit squad he has elected to 'Take a back seat for this one'. He will be there however so watch out for him in the Italian end, administering sack beatings to the Italy fans and baring his a*se braveheart style, as he has never forgiven them for the war. He has intimated to me that he has 'offered out' the various ultras in alphabetical order by team, so watch out for what promises to be a spectacular display of 'bare knuckle pagger' in the car park after the match. He says he is going to give them a 'Shoeing' irrespective of the final result. All proceeds will go to children in need.

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